


Shards

by robotfrom1984



Series: Cupid [2]
Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Cupid is an anxious mess, I just reference milex fanfics I like, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotfrom1984/pseuds/robotfrom1984
Summary: CONTINUATION OF "CUPID SHOOTS TO KILL"«...Cupid woke up screaming, eyes stinging and face wet; probably from snot and tears but Cupid would rather not think about it. His throat felt swollen and his left hand was throbbing. What the-? Was this blood?...»In which, a guilt-ridden Cupid sees a series of dreams about his beloved boys, Alex and Miles.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Series: Cupid [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119272
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	1. A Long Night Indeed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elorianna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elorianna/gifts), [WeirdChick333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdChick333/gifts), [MechanicalHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechanicalHeart/gifts), [jemdetta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemdetta/gifts).



> Hello. This can be read as a stand-alone but it will make more sense if you read the first part of the series first. Enjoy.

**2006**

Cupid tossed and turned in his bed for about three hours that night, too anxious to rest. _He had gone and messed a perfectly good friendship and two perfectly good relationships up with his slow bloody reflexes. Stupid, stupid, stupid_. He remembered what his therapist had told him about positive self-talk and groaned. How was he supposed to be nice to himself after such a mistake?

He felt his stomach turn like he was about to be sick right there but he kept his mouth shut and fought back his tears. If he managed to calm down, he'd sleep sooner, which would minimise the amount of time he'd have to spend lying in the dark with his guilt-ridden brain. That thought only gave him more reasons to be anxious though and he felt his lids getting heavy somewhere around sunrise, the sheets already soaked in sweat. _This was going to be a long night._


	2. In My Wildest Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references "In My Wildest Dreams" by @elorianna. I don't know how to put a link but definitely read it. I'm sure it will tickle your fancy.

He had a series of half-lucid dreams that night, all about Alex and Miles.

  
The first one found Cupid sitting on some bookshelf in a living room he didn't recognise. The details of the room were somewhat hazy and out of focus and a voice in the back of his head told him this wasn't real. He held his breath nonetheless as someone knocked on the door and two familiar, male voices were heard from somewhere far away - _probably upstairs_ , Cupid thought- but he wasn't lucid enough to move from his spot and check for himself. He didn't have to though, as the owners of said voices climbed down the stairs seconds later and went to see who was knocking at such an hour.

  
Cupid heard Miles mumble something along the lines of "Let me answer the door" to Alex and reached for the latch. The open door slightly blocked Cupid's view but the terror on the boys' faces and the way Alex grabbed Miles and chocked out his name immediately triggered Cupid's fight or flight response. 

  
“Well, if it ain’t the kids”, someone said from behind the door and Miles' face turned white as a sheet. Now Cupid was completely on edge, trying to get his half-conscious brain to wake up a bit so he could move from his spot if the people behind the door turned out to be thugs. His legs felt numb, almost like they weren't there at all so he settled for staring daggers at the door and hoping that nothing bad was about to happen. 

  
“Are yeh gonna invite us in then?”, the smug voice continued and poor Miles looked like he was about to faint. Cupid had never wanted to punch someone in his two thousand years of existence more than he wanted to now. _If this arsehole so much as touched a single hair on Miles' head, he'd turn his teeth into a necklace._

  
Alex took a dazed step back, dragging Miles with him and the strangers/possible burglars finally came into Cupid's view. Cupid swallowed and nearly choked when he took a look at their faces. He had gotten it all wrong: these people where neither strangers nor burglars. They were almost spitting images of his beloved mop-haired boys except for their deeper voices and different haircuts. _What in Cupid's arrow was going on?_

  
Everything that happened afterwards was blurry and by the time Cupid's vision regained focus, Alex, Miles and... erm, the other Alex and Miles were sitting in the living room playing board games, the boys looking positively terrified as their older selves won round after round and got progressively handsier with each other. _Huh? Interesting._

  
Cupid found himself getting very invested in the strange scene unfolding in front of him but he suddenly felt a rush of tiredness all over his body, too strong to fight it, and he eventually drifted back into sleep.


	3. Threat Of Joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go check out "Threat Of Joy" by @jemdetta to read the rest of this lovely story.

The next time Cupid woke up, a soft breeze was caressing his skin and he vaguely realised he's still dreaming. The thought was soon forgotten as his attention was drawn to the unusually yellow crescent moon and the sublte smell of grass. He wiggled his body to the side experimentally but he still couldn't move. This was beginning to become a common theme with these dreams and it was exceptionally frustrating. He wiggled again, more aggressively. _Ouch. Was that a splinter digging into his left buttock?_ His eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he was able to make out the outline of what he was sitting on. A bloody tree. _Now he's going to have ants crawling all over him. Fucking gross._

“What’s the difference, y’know, between kissing a bird and a bloke?”, a rather hesitant voice asked from below the tree and Cupid briefly wondered if the question was addressed at him. He couldn't help but scoff at the thought. He was invisible, for goodness sake. Of course the question wasn't for him.

“Not much difference, to be honest. Guess you could say girls kiss softer, gentler, like. And blokes-- well they always kiss a bit firmer, for some reason. Like they want to take charge, y’know.”, another voice explained. That was the moment Cupid spotted the two men who were discussing the bizzare human habit of exchanging saliva. _Alex and Miles again. Why was his mind torturing him like that?_

It was very dark outside, save for the few street lights, but the nervous expression on Alex's face was hard to miss. He looked like he was about to shove his head in the ground, ostrich-style but then he dropped an absolute bomb of a question that had Cupid blushing like he was the one being asked: “Could you show me?”

_Oh. Wow. Okay._

There were a few more seconds of hesitation, some whispers exchanged between the two men that Cupid couldn't make out and then Miles leaned forward and they were devouring each other like their life depended on it. His heart sank at the thought of the real Miles and Alex perhaps never getting this far in their relationship. _Damn, he really messed things up, didn't he? Why did he have to go and fuck up like this? Alex and Miles would never be together. This was a dream. A dream and nothing more._

His thoughts started getting loud again and he was no longer paying attention. He felt a migraine forming all over the left side of his head and he closed his eyes in an effort to stop the pain from spreading. He wasn't sure how that would be effective in any way.

The voices bellow were getting quieter in a way that felt very unnatural, almost like he was getting further and further away from them. _Oh no, no, no. Where was he going now?_ Panick and guilt seized the tiny Demigod by the throat even harder than before.

Cupid was able to make out some scattered phrases like "I don’t want to be an experiment for you, Al.” and then a “I know about the other bloke. I heard you telling Matt that you fancied some guy--" and then Alex's laugher accompanied by a "You’re the ‘other bloke’, you wally!”. 

_At least they got their happy ending here_ , Cupid thought bittesweetly and then the sound of his frantic heartbeat drowned everything out.


	4. A Trip Into A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read "A Trip Into A Dream" by WeirdCheek333 for your enemies-to-lovers cravings. Here's a small sample of it.

The thing that woke Cupid up this time was the commotion. _Where was he?_ He could hear a roaring crowd but he wasn't on a stage. He took a more careful look of his surroundings. There was no furniture -except for a few boxes and guitar cases-, applause appeared to be coming from just a few meters aways and the only humans he could see were clad in black t-shirts and wearing earpieces. _Maybe he was backstage, then?_

"...I don’t want to fight with you, Kane! I just want to leave!”

_Was that... Alex? The voice sounded undeniably similar, but surely, Alex would never speak like that to his friend._

“Then leave, Turner!”

Cupid prayed that he'd wake up soon. He wasn't sure he could handle this. This, unlike the two previous dreams, felt real in the worst way possible. It might as well have been a premonition, a sign of the impending catastrophe that **he** had single-handedly caused. Cupid gulped and tuned back in the conversation, hoping that things between dream Alex and Miles would be resolved. Maybe there was still hope.

His ears began to ring, which made it really hard to pay attention to what was being said. Alex looked like a bomb waiting for Miles to cut the wrong wire on purpose and Miles looked like he'd gladly do it. Cupid felt a hot tear run on his cheek. It was the only thing in this dream that felt completely real and that was oddly comforting. 

“At some point, you have to explain to me why you don’t like me. ‘Cause for thirteen years I’ve been trying to figure it out and I just can’t do it.”. That sounded like Miles but Cupid wasn't sure anymore. His brain was too busy replaying the last words. _Thirteen years? Oh, Lord. What had he done?_

He punched the wall behind him in frustration but instead of a thud, the action produced a shattering sound. Cupid felt his hand sting but the scene before him changed before he could process the pain. 


	5. Rear-view Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A "Rear-view Mirror"-flavoured chapter. @MechanicalHeart is an absolute legend and I think about their fic every day.

“Would you mind taking me home?”

Alex. That was definitely Alex's voice. _Had they made up then?_ The ringing in his ears has subsided a bit but his vision was blurry with tears and fatigue. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I would mind.”. Miles' voice sounded strained, full of disbelief. 

_No. Of course they hadn't._

The kept bickering (it seemed like an innocent enough quarrel at first and Cupid was desperate to believe that) until Miles said "...And I could ask you why you’re still on it when you know you shouldn’t be.” and Alex, if you can believe it, had the nerve to roll his eyes and say something along the lines of “Oh, fuck me, is this the ‘drugs are bad for you’ lecture again, Miles? What the fuck do you know about it? Nothing. You know nothing about it.”. And then Hell broke loose. 

The Alex of this dream was living a very messed up, double life apparently and Miles, bless him, was trying so hard to help his friend but he wasn't listening. He was too far gone. _What if Cupid's actions would lead Alex down such paths? Had he really ruined a life?_ “I’m calling a cab.”, he announced with an air of finality, like he'd always call a cab from now on instead of calling Miles and Cupid wanted to scream with all of the force he could muster _I'm sorry, I'm so sorry_. Alex gathered his things and left. The door slammed shut behind him. This was without a doubt the end. 

Cupid wanted to be sick for the second time that night. He folded in half as a horrible pain twisted his stomach. A retching sound was followed by a cough and vomit. He remained in a hunched position with his knees shaking as the room started dimming fast. _Please. Take me away from this nightmare._ He closed his eyes and held his breath. 


	6. Reflexes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cupid finally wakes up.

Cupid woke up screaming, eyes stinging and face wet (probably from snot and tears but Cupid would rather not think about it). His throat felt swollen and his left hand was throbbing. _What the-? Was this blood?_

He immediately sat up on his bed to take a closer look at his hand. There were cuts all over his knuckles and a few small pieces of glass sticking out. His head snapped to the left as it finally clicked. Just as he imagined, he had smashed the glass of water on his bedside table in his sleep.

With a laboured breath, he dragged himself to the bathroom, avoiding the mirror at all costs. Thankfully, the cuts weren't too deep and the shards were easy to remove. Cupid chocked back a sob as he poured disinfectant all over his hand and wrapped a gauze around it. 

Later, when he was asked at lunch about his banged up hand, he mumbled something about a broken vase and his slow reflexes. The conversation quickly moved on. Cupid exhaled shakily. No one noticed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you have feedback on my writing, I'd be happy to hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @robotfrom-1984


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